Sungka

When I had children, it wasn’t just my body that changed, my whole life did. Most of the time I am exhausted, I am tired, sometimes I cry (parang ngayon, parang tanga, umiiyak habang nagtatype) there are times when I feel like I can’t do it anymore… I look in the mirror and I see messy hair, walang ligo, my tummy covered in stretchmarks so deep you can play ‘sungka’, skin so loose, you can probably make a bag out of it, my breasts- well you my fellow moms know what these two looks like now- and then I look at my sons and they look back, one smiles back and the older one tells me ‘your tummy is so squishy mom, i love it… and even though I feel insecure about my body, I am not going to complain.

Kung ang kapalit naman ng lahat ng sakripisyong ito eh ang mga ngiti ng mga anak ko, okay na okay na ako. I will be grateful to God everyday for the gifts He has entrusted to me.

To mommies, nanays, mamas reading this- it may be hard right now, but it’s all worth it and know that soon, our babies will grow up and we will miss their littleness, their hypernessness and the noises and messes they make and our bodies will remind us that we once carried them and nurtured them.

You are Strong, You are Amazing, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You may feel unappreciated but God sees you, knows you and what you’re going through and He loves you. Smile na, He’s got us…Tara Sungka tayo!

1 Month Post Partum or 4 months pregnant?

Just a few days after giving birth, some relatives and friends visited me and asked “Bakit ang laki pa rin ng tyan mo?!” (Why is your tummy still so big?!). I know they don’t mean anything bad but people can be so insentive, and all those magazines and photos of ‘celebrities and models’ that seems to look so perfect right after giving birth doesn’t help either. I mean, hello I just gave birth, i was cut open and a human being came out of me!

It was really difficult to post this photo, to show what the world sees as ‘flaws’, but well this is the real deal. My body housed 2 beautiful baby boys and it took 9 months each time to grow them in my belly and I have accepted the fact that it will take some time for my body to go back to the way it was (if it does go back) And if it doesn’t, that’s okay too.

Don’t get me wrong I’m happy for those moms who have flat tummies just a few days after giving birth, but we’re all different, our bodies are all different and that’s okay and I want other mamas out there who are like me, who look at themselves in the mirror and feel sad because of what they see. I want you to know that you are not alone…

So to all the mama’s out there who’s exhausted, who’s not had a proper shower, whose breasts are super sore, those who can’t recognize their own bodies because of the stretchmarks and the chloasma or the dark patches all over their bodies, to those who still look pregnant after a month or even months after giving birth- cheers to us! We are are all beautiful and unbelievably strong and God has given us such a wonderful gift that’s worth all these hardships and body changes… So cheer up Mama You really are amazing!

To my Tobias- happy 1 month baby ko, you and kuya Noah are worth every stretchmarks, body changes, every pain, every sleepless night and wouldn’t trade you for anything…

Thank You Jesus for the strength You provide, physically and emotionally, thank You for Your love that gives confidence to this mama and every mama reading this. Thank You Jesus!