First Love.

Restoring our relationship with God.

How God is willing to restore us back to Him in spite of our sin and dreadful past.

I have been a ‘Christian’ since a I was a young girl. I went to Sunday schools, retreats, Bible studies. I defended my faith from those who had different views and I claimed to love Jesus with my words and yet my actions spoke otherwise. As a young woman I pursued my dreams, worldly pleasures and lived a lifestyle that shouted “I don’t care who Jesus is and I don’t love Him.” And it came to a point that I felt that God must hate me so much, that He will never take me back, that He will never love me back because of all the terrible things I have done…

After Jesus was arrested, Peter, His disciple denied Jesus 3 times after being with Him all those time, witnessing the miracles He performed, seeing and knowing who He is and yet he denied Jesus still. When Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to His disciples, I could just imagine how Peter felt, he must have felt ashamed and guilty and unworthy and yet Jesus, when He appeared to them again even served them breakfast! And He asked Peter 3 times: “Do you love me”? And Peter said, “You know all things Lord, you know I love You.” (John 21:15-19)

Buti na lang hindi ako si Jesus, kung ako yun at nakita ko si Peter, sasabihin ko, “Umalis ka nga sa harapan ko, hindi din kita kilala!” Buti na lang, hindi ako ang Diyos, hindi ako si Hesus dahil sasabihin ko sa sarili ko- “Wala kang kwenta! Pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa ko para sa iyo, namuhay ka na parang wala kang Diyos…” Buti na lang, buti na lang mali ako nung naisip at naramdaman ko na wala na akong pag-asa na patawarin ng Diyos.

Like Peter, I also denied Jesus by living a sinful lifestyle that shouted ‘I don’t know who Jesus is!’ – And yet He still reminded me of His love and kindness and brought me to my knees as he exposed all my sins and faults.

Are you also denying Jesus now? Sure, we say with words how much we love Him, but our hearts are from Him. We have forsaken our First Love- when we put other things before Him, when we take Him for granted..

Revelations 2: 4-5 tells us this : ‘Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first, if you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place.’

Unless Jesus becomes our First Love again, we will never be fully satisfied, we will never be really happy. If you know this is true for you, that you have let your love for Jesus grow cold, I encourage you to invite Jesus right now to search your hearts, seek Him come to Him, ask Him to restore your love for Him.

Let us pray these words from Psalm 139:23-24

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!”

“Do you love me?” Jesus is asking you now… and he tells us in John 14:15

“If you love me, obey my commandments.”

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